51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher

 

1 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher

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In many ways, the comedian has the ability to be the philosopher of our era, a social critic and theorist whose words have the ability to shape public thought. As we saw from my piece on Louis C.K. a few weeks ago, comedy — at its best — pushes our buttons and challenges our ways of thinking. To me, no person is a better example of that than George Carlin, a savage satirist and brilliant thinker who was just as much of a writer and a philosopher as he was a comedian. His medium was stand-up, but he touched on issues of race, class, politics and American life — saying the kinds of things no one else dared.

Carlin got famous for his bit about the “words you can’t say on television,” but his legacy speaks of so much more, wisdom and wit that deserve to live on through the ages. Here are 51 quotes from the late comedian that show him at his best — hilarious, irascible and never satisfied with the state of society.

1. I don’t have pet peeves. I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.
2. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
3. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
4. And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a word. You never hear them say “Jesus made me drop the ball.” “The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.” According to these guys Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. Must be another one of those “miracles.”
5. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
6. It’s the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin’ different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That’s our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
7. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”
8. How can [God] be perfect? Everything He ever makes dies.”
9. If you take five white guys and put ’em with five black guys, and let ’em hang around together for about a month, and at the end of the month, you’ll notice that the white guys are walking and talking and standing like the black guys do. You’ll never see the black guys going, “Oh, golly! We won the big game today, yes sir!” But you’ll see guys with red hair named Duffy going, “What’s happenin’?”
10. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
11. Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
12. Here’s another question I have: How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelet? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen; that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we’re better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? Because chickens are decent people. You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No. You don’t see a chicken strapping some guy to a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When’s the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn’t happen. Because chickens are decent people.
13. People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
14. Electricity is really just organized lightning.
15. We’re so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody’s going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven’t learned how to care for one another. We’re gonna save the fuckin’ planet? And, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin’ great. It’s been here over four billion years The planet isn’t goin’ anywhere, folks. We are! We’re goin’ away. Pack your shit, we’re goin’ away. And we won’t leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we’ll be gone. Another failed mutation, another closed-end biological mistake.
16. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
17. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and He needs money.
18. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
19. Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they’re against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? Leave these fucking people alone for Christ’s sake. Here is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion and the Catholics and the Christians are just tossing them aside. You’d think they’d make natural allies. Go look for consistency in religion.
20. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse.
21. Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.
22. So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you’d really notice it of course; just kinda on paper. And that of course was at the end of the Civil War. Now there is another phrase I dearly love. That is a true oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one: “Civil War.” Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? “Say, pardon me?” (shoots gun) “I’m awfully sorry. Awfully sorry.”
23. When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.
24. So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck; maybe it’s something else. Like the public. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: “The public sucks. Elect me.” Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don’t have people like that. Everyone’s at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. And complaining about the politicians.
25. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
26. I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
27. I don’t like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: “Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘There is no “I” in team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an “I” in independence, individuality and integrity.’” Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, “We’re the So-and-Sos,” take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it’s unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don’t participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you’re not a team player, congratulate them on being observant.
28. They say rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. They don’t mention anything about cursing a lack of candles.
29. Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren’t they? They’re all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you’re born, you’re on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.
30. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, “Why not?” Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that shit.
31. I don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? I can’t follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people. In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm.
32. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a line, I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me.
33. There are over seventeen thousand golf courses in America, they average over one hundred and fifty acres a piece. That’s three million plus acres, four thousand, eight hundred and twenty square miles. You could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist, there’s another thing; the only blacks you’ll find at country clubs are carrying trays. And a boring game. A boring game for boring people. You ever watch golf on television? It’s like watching flies fuck!
34. I am perfectly willing to share the room with a fly, as long as he is patrolling that portion of the room I don’t occupy. But if he starts that smart-ass fly shit, buzzing my head and repeatedly landing on my arm, he is engaging in high-risk behavior.
35. And you might have noticed something else. The sanctity of life doesn’t seem to apply to cancer cells, does it? You rarely see a bumper sticker that says: “Save the tumors.” Or “I brake for advanced melanoma.” No, viruses, mold, mildew, maggots, fungus, weeds, E. Coli bacteria, the crabs. Nothing sacred about those things. So at best the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing. We get to choose which forms of life we feel are sacred, and we get to kill the rest. Pretty neat deal, huh? You know how we got it? We made the whole fucking thing up!
36. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
37. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
38. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
39. Here’s some bumper stickers I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.” “We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers’ attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters.” “We have a daughter in public school who hasn’t been knocked up yet.” “We have a son in public school who hasn’t shot any of his classmates yet. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Plus he knocked up your daughter.” “We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.”
40. People are fucking nuts. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. You ever notice that? Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. And they all vote. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that they’re the only ones who vote.
41. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
42. Rights aren’t rights if someone can take them away. They’re privileges. That’s all we’ve ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges. And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter. You see all, sooner or later. Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a fuck about them! The government doesn’t care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety. It simply does not give a fuck about you! It’s interested in its own power. That’s the only thing. Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible.
43. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
44. When it comes to God’s existence, I’m not an atheist and I’m not an agnostic. I’m an acrostic: the whole thing puzzles me.
45. The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.
46. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
47. Let me get a sip of water here…you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don’t care, I drink it anyway. You know why? Because I’m an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water. I’m a loyal American and I’m not happy unless I let government and industry poison me a little bit every day.
48. Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
49. Religion is nothing but mind control. Religion is just trying to control your mind, control your thoughts, so they’re gonna tell you some things you shouldn’t say because they’re…sins. And besides telling you things you shouldn’t say, religion is gonna suggest some things that you ought to be saying; “Here’s something you ought to say first thing when you wake up in the morning; here’s something you ought to say just before you go to sleep at night; here’s something we always say on the third Wednesday in April after the first full moon in spring at 4 o’clock when the bells ring.” Religion is always suggesting things you ought to be saying.
50. I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me. […] I look at war a little bit differently. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! OK? Simple thing. That’s all it is. War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. That’s what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. That’s what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. It’s called “dick fear!” Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! You don’t have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. It sounds like this: “What, they have bigger dicks? Bomb them!” And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. It’s a subconscious need to project the penis into other people’s affairs. It’s called “fucking with people!”
51. If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

#george_carlin#quotes#beatnikhiway.com#ana_christy

 

 

 

 

 

COOL PEOPLE -BENNY HILL

Benny Hill – Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)

http://youtu.be/8e1xvyTdBZI?list=RDPVR-PyRC4io

The Strange Life of Benny Hill
Miss Cellania • Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 5:0

 Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website or at Facebook.

Who makes a person laugh is an entirely subjective thing. Like taste in dogs, cars, colors, beautiful women or good-looking men, it is entirely a matter of individual taste. While the Three Stooges will almost always leave me hysterical with laughter, I know of others who view their antics stone-faced. Other will scream with joy at Jonathan Winters or Sid Caesar and neither has ever made me even snicker. With that in mind, I have always considered Benny Hill to be the most underrated comedian of all time.

This brilliant comedic genius was born Alfred Hawthorne Hill on January 24, 1924. After working as a milkman and a drummer, young Alfred drifted into various performing jobs at Masonic dinners and men’s clubs before graduating to night clubs and theaters. He also made several appearance on British radio in the early years. Alfred soon changed his first name to “Benny” in honor of his favorite comedian, Jack Benny.

Hill’s early roles were eclectic, sometimes as a comedian, and sometimes playing a straight man. He started appearing on British television in 1955 with the earliest version of The Benny Hill Show. The show made him famous in Britain, but this early show is like lukewarm tea compared to the wild later version of the show. After viewing (and loving) the famous Benny Hill shows of the 1970s and ’80s, I was very surprised at how mild and tame these earlier shows were.

Benny also had a comedy anthology show Benny Hill (1962-63) in which he played a different role each week. Interestingly, Hill also did some Shakespeare, appearing as Bottom in 1964’s TV version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Hill made a few brief appearances in films, probably most notably in a relatively straight role at the toymaker in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in 1968. A multi-faceted talent, Benny even had a #1 British single at Christmastime with “Ernie, the Fastest Milkman in the West.”

Benny Hill – Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)

http://youtu.be/8e1xvyTdBZI?list=RDPVR-PyRC4io

In 1969, Benny’s show switched from the ultra-conservative BBC network that had been carrying his show and made the movie to Thames television. It was this move that really gave birth to the incredible comic genius of Benny Hill. Probably the changing times had a lot to do with Benny and his creative freedom splurging in these classic ’70s and ’80s shows. The loosening of strict codes of morality and censorship enabled Benny to create these mini-masterpieces of comic brilliance.

Hill’s show was chock-full of double entendres, sight gags, cross-dressing, and the scantily-clad beauties “Hill’s Angels” that became his stock-in-trade. He also loved using slow-motion, speeded-up motion, and time-lapse sequences. It was with these classic shows of the ’70s and ’80s that Benny really hit his stride as a comic, and for these shows he will always be remembered.

 El Show de Benny Hill [1955] INTRO

http://youtu.be/n_uYgpOqBP8

Benny’s show came to America in 1979 and quickly became a popular favorite (like the Three Stooges, his appeal was definitely more to male viewers than female). As The Benny Hill Show was carried in more and more countries, Benny’s fame spread and he quickly became world famous. To this day, the show’s theme song, “Yakety Sax,” is known the world over as “The Benny Hill Theme.”

His fans included Mickey Rooney, Burt Reynolds, Walter Cronkite, Michael Caine, and Bob Hope -in fact, Bob Hope wrote the forward to the 1989 book The Benny Hill Story.

In what may have been the most memorable moment of his life, in the 1970s, Benny was invited to Vevey, Switzerland, by the great Charlie Chaplin. He dined with the immortal Chaplin and was the first person, outside of family, to be invited to the Chaplin’s private study. Once inside, Benny saw a complete collection of Benny Hill videotapes -it seems Chaplin was a huge Benny Hill fan and thought he was hilarious. Benny was touched and always treasured this memory.

El Show de Benny Hill [1955] INTRO

http://youtu.be/WLLunRM0rkE

Contrary to the boisterous, loud character he played on the small screen, Benny was a quiet, private man in real life. He lived in the same large double apartment, most of the time with his mother, for 26 years. When his mother died, he turned the apartment into a shrine, not changing anything. He lived alone in a rented apartment until his death, never owning a house -or a car. Despite his great wealth, Benny never wanted the responsibility of owning a home; he instead had a host of flats he used. Benny liked being by himself. He was one of those people who was “alone, but not lonely.”

Benny was a huge Francophile, enjoying visits to France immensely (usually in Marseilles). Almost up until the ’80s he could go to France and enjoy anonymity, riding local public transport and socializing with beautiful women. Highly intelligent, he was fluent in French and also knew some German, Dutch, and Italian.

Although he was to become world famous as the “dirty old man” who leered and cavorted with young women, in his private life, Hill had much less success with the ladies. He definitely liked women, enjoyed their company, and fell very deeply in love. Sadly, he proposed to three different women in his life and was turned down by all three.

According to a few of the beautiful “Hill’s Angels,” Benny loved taking them out on dates, but never made the first move or even tried to kiss them. Rumors circulated that Benny was gay, which he laughingly denied. The irony of TV’s top woman-chaser being suspected as gay is almost too much to believe.

Who knows? Maybe he was, or maybe not. Maybe he was impotent, or maybe he was just extremely shy. Incredibly, there is a school of thought that Benny Hill may have died a virgin. Whatever secrets he had in the sexual facet of his life, Benny took to the grave with him.

By the 1990s, the hugely popular Benny Hill Show was being politely censored by influence from a new, highly influential nemesis: the feminists. The “femi-nazis” and the newest fad of the time, “political correctness” had raised its horrible, intimidating head. Benny found his once-popular show being canceled in several countries. The hard-hearted feminists couldn’t stand seeing Benny running around with beautiful, young girls in their meager attire.

Baffled and depressed, Benny denied the loud outcry that his show was sexist. He answered the feminists by pointing out that he never actually chased the women on his show, it was always they who chased him. He also pointed out that it was old men on the show who truly looked foolish, not the girls.

“I use a pretty girl the way Henny Youngman used his violin -as a bridge between one laugh and the next,” he said, truthfully. Nonetheless, politics ruled, and The Benny Hill Show began a not-so-gradual disappearing act. To this day, although we live in a world of hundreds of cable choices and selections, one is hard-pressed to find The Benny Hill Show anywhere on TV anymore.

0 AM • 4

A Tribute to The Benny Hill Show

A tribute to the classic British television comedy “The Benny Hill Show”. Scenes from The Benny Hill Show include the beautiful and sexy Hill’s Angels. Music is the theme from The Benny Hill Show(Yakety Sax).

http://youtu.be/iAiq1xKF38k

The Benny Hill Show Best Videos – Part 1

http://youtu.be/HbZxcd22Q8o

Benny was sad and slightly shell-shocked. By the 1990s, his health was rapidly deteriorating. He was gaining weight at a rapid pace. On February 11, 1992, doctors warned him that he was overweight and recommended a heart bypass. Benny refused, and a week later suffered renal failure. Benny lacked confidence in the medical profession as a whole, and in a case of life imitating art, he entrusted his health to a gynecologist who had a pathological obsession for pinching women on their hindquarters.

By mid-April, some of Benny’s neighbors complained about a pungent odor emanating from Benny’s flat. They realized they hadn’t seen the comedian for several days and phoned the police. Their fears were soon realized; Benny Hill had died very much as he had lived his life -alone. In front of his beloved television, he was slumped on the couch, surrounded by cardboard boxes, unwashed crockery, empty glasses, and piles of videotapes. Benny Hill had died of heart failure at the age of 67.

As we all know, none of us ever forgets the ones we loved in our lives. I also believe we never forget the ones who made us laugh. And Benny Hill certainly did that.

Luckily for us, it is easy to find and view the great Benny Hill on DVD and videotape or even on YouTube.

COOL PEOPLE – Bill Murray on Gilda Radner

oldloves:

Bill Murray on Gilda Radner:

“Gilda got married and went away. None of us saw her anymore. There was one good thing: Laraine had a party one night, a great party at her house. And I ended up being the disk jockey. She just had forty-fives, and not that many, so you really had to work the music end of it. There was a collection of like the funniest people in the world at this party. Somehow Sam Kinison sticks in my brain. The whole Monty Python group was there, most of us from the show, a lot of other funny people, and Gilda. Gilda showed up and she’d already had cancer and gone into remission and then had it again, I guess. Anyway she was slim. We hadn’t seen her in a long time. And she started doing, “I’ve got to go,” and she was just going to leave, and I was like, “Going to leave?” It felt like she was going to really leave forever.

So we started carrying her around, in a way that we could only do with her. We carried her up and down the stairs, around the house, repeatedly, for a long time, until I was exhausted. Then Danny did it for a while. Then I did it again. We just kept carrying her; we did it in teams. We kept carrying her around, but like upside down, every which way—over your shoulder and under your arm, carrying her like luggage. And that went on for more than an hour—maybe an hour and a half—just carrying her around and saying, “She’s leaving! This could be it! Now come on, this could be the last time we see her. Gilda’s leaving, and remember that she was very sick—hello?”

We worked all aspects of it, but it started with just, “She’s leaving, I don’t know if you’ve said good-bye to her.” And we said good-bye to the same people ten, twenty times, you know.

And because these people were really funny, every person we’d drag her up to would just do like five minutes on her, with Gilda upside down in this sort of tortured position, which she absolutely loved. She was laughing so hard we could have lost her right then and there.

It was just one of the best parties I’ve ever been to in my life. I’ll always remember it. It was the last time I saw her.”

– from Live from New York: an Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live

So much love for this story, Gilda and Bill Murray for telling it. xo Maya

• See more at: http://dirtydurty.com/#sthash.WA6suaNj.dpuf

COOL PEOPLE- ONE LINERS FROM GROUCHO MARX

Groucho Marx – 30 great one-liners

Groucho Marx (1890-1977):

‘I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.’

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COOL PEOPLE – Bill Murray Has Inspired 200 Fans To Dedicate An Entire Art Exhibit To Him In San Francisco

Bill Murray Has Inspired 200 Fans To Dedicate An Entire Art Exhibit To Him In San

Francisco

Pinar3 weeks ago

Creatives from all around the world have submitted work inspired by Bill Murray for an

art tribute show called The Murray Affair, to celebrate the famous 63-year-old actor and

his legendary filmography.

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Alice X. Zhang

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Jason Edmiston

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Stephen Schisler

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Eric Sokoloff

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Joemetric

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Thubakabra

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Kate O’Hara

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Greg Firestone

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Jacqueline Mark Bello

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Nan Lawson

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Replaceface

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Joe Kopler

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Tomas Overbai

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Curated by Ezra Croft, The Murray Affair: A Bill Murray Art Show is scheduled to open on August 8th at SF Public Works. Check out the exhibit’s website for more info.

COOL PEOPLE – ROBIN WILLIAMS ONCE BOUGHT CONAN O’BRIEN A BICYCLE

CONAN O’BRIEN TALKS ABOUT ROBIN WILLIAMS

Published on Aug 12, 2014

CONAN Highlight: Conan recalls Robin’s incredible generosity and his many hilarious visits to the show.

20 reasons why Bill Murray is the coolest human being alive

http://coolmaterial.com/roundup/20-reasons-bill-murray-is-the-coolest-human-being-alive/

BILL MURRAY FLYING AS PETER PAN ON LETTERMAN

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/bill-murray-flew-around-dressed-as-peter-pan-on-letterman?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=BuzzFeed+22&utm_content=BuzzFeed+22+CID_7c6b27fde2096dedc9b46825129b2b90&utm_source=Campaign%20Monitor&utm_term=Just%20give%20him%20the%20part%20already

14 Things We Learned from Bill Murray

14 Things We Learned from Bill Murray’s Reddit AMA

Erin McCarthy

Image credit:

Monuments Men Facebook

Tonight, Bill Murray did something that is very, very Bill Murray: He did a surprise Reddit AMA to promote his upcoming movie, The Monuments Men. His answers to user questions are equal parts delightful and thoughtful. Here’s what we learned.

1. Even Bill Murray can’t believe how awesome he is.

When one user asked Murray what it was like to be so awesome, Murray replied, “Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It’s kind of a shock. It’s kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light.”

2. After filming Broken Flowers, he didn’t think he could do anything better.

Murray told Jim Jarmusch that he would only do Broken Flowers if the director could find places to film that were within an hour of the actor’s house. Jarmusch did, so Murray did the movie—and when it was finished, “I thought ‘this movie is so good, I thought I should stop,'” Murray wrote. “It’s a film that is completely realized, and beautiful, and I thought I had done all I could do to it as an actor. And then 6-7 months later someone asked me to work again, so I worked again, but for a few months I thought I couldn’t do any better than that.”

3. Murray thinks Einstein was a “pretty cool guy.”

But if he could go back in time and have a conversation with just one person, it would be scientist and friar Gregor Mendel, “because he was a monk who just sort of figured this stuff out on his own,” Murray said. “That’s a higher mind, that’s a mind that’s connected. They have a vision, and they just sort of see it because they are so connected intellectually and mechanically and spiritually, they can access a higher mind. Mendel was a guy so long ago that I don’t necessarily know very much about him, but I know that Einstein did his work in the mountains in Switzerland. I think the altitude had an effect on the way they spoke and thought.”

4. He really likes Wes Anderson.

It’s probably not a surprise that Murray likes director Wes Anderson—they’ve worked on seven films together. But during his AMA, Murray enumerated why he likes working with Anderson so much: “I really love the way Wes writes with his collaborators, I like the way he shoots, and I like HIM,” Murray said. “I’ve become so fond of him. I love the way that he has made his art his life. And you know, it’s a lesson to all of us, to take what you love and make it the way you live your life, and that way you bring love into the world.”

5. He thinks that, at the time it came out, Groundhog Day was underrated.

“The script is one of the greatest conceptual scripts I’ve ever seen,” he wrote. “It’s a script that was so unique, so original, and yet it got no acclaim. To me it was no question that it was the greatest script of the year. To this day people are talking about it, but they forget no one paid any attention to it at the time. The execution of the script, there were great people in it.”

6. The strangest experience he had in Japan while filming Lost in Translation involved an eel.

Once, while at a sushi restaurant, the chef asked Murray, “Would you like some fresh eel?” Murray replied that yes, he would. “So [the chef] came back with a fresh eel, a live eel, and then he walked back behind a screen and came back in 10 seconds with a no-longer-alive eel,” the actor said. “It was the freshest thing I had ever eaten in my life. It was such a funny moment to see something that was alive that no longer was alive, that was my food, in 30 seconds.”

7. He thinks the previous SNL cast was “the best group since the original group.”

The current SNL cast is good, in Murray’s opinion, but “the last group with Kristen Wiig and those characters, they were a bunch of actors and their stuff was just different,” he said.

It’s all about the writing, the writing is such a challenge and you are trying to write backwards to fit 90 minutes between dress rehearsal and the airing. And sometimes the writers don’t get the whole thing figured out, it’s not like a play where you can rehearse it several times. So good actors—and those were really good actors, and there are some great actors in this current group as well I might add—they seem to be able to solve writing problems, improvisational actors, can solve them on their feet. They can solve it during the performance, and make a scene work. … So this group, there are definitely some actors in this group, I see them working in the same way and making scenes go. They really roll very nicely, they have great momentum, and it seems like they are calm in the moment.

8. Doing the voice recording for The Fantastic Mr. Fox was basically one big party.

The process, Murray said, “dragged on and on and on,” but it was “great fun” that started at a friend’s farm:

[W]e all stayed at her place for a handful of days while we recorded during the day and then at night we would have these magnificent meals and we would all tell stories. We had a LOT of great food, a lot of great wine and great stories. It went on until people started literally falling from their chairs and being taken away. And then we had to go to another place and do it again, we went to George’s place, but then something happen and the whole party broke up, and George said “you don’t have to go, do ya” and I didn’t, so we just kicked around Northern Italy for a while. It was a real fiesta.

9. He didn’t part on good terms with his assistant.

When the actor was working on Groundhog Day, director Harold Ramis asked Murray to hire an assistant to make communicating easier. So Murray hired a deaf woman who didn’t speak—and Murray didn’t know American Sign Language. Murray says he and the woman didn’t part well:

I was sort of ambitious thinking that I could hire someone that had the intelligence to do a job but didn’t have necessarily speech or couldn’t quite hear or spoke in sign language. … I tried my best, but I was working all day. She was lovely and very smart, but there’s a lot of frustration when you meet people who can’t speak well. Being completely disabled in that area causes a great amount of frustration, and this was going back 30 years or so before there were the educational components that there are today. It didn’t go particularly well for me, but for a few weeks she really was a light and had a real spirit to her. … We were both optimistic, but it was harder than either of us expected to make it work.

10. Here’s where to get what is, in Murray’s opinion, the best sandwich.

“There’s a place not far from Warner Brothers, I think it was called the Godfather? And they made all kinds of sandwiches with smashed avocado and sprouts and stuff like that,” he said. “And when you were having a bad day … you’d get sandwiches from this place. And they were very filling and very tasty, and then you’d forget about the morning.”

11. You can thank Murray’s brother Brian for Bill.

Murray called his brother his “first great influence. He made much of what I am possible. To this day, if I have a question about something ethical or about being an actor or entertainer or a person or something like that, he’s a person who helped form me.”

12. Bill has some pretty interesting thoughts on marijuana.

When asked what he thought about the recreational use of marijuana, Murray didn’t exactly answer the question—instead, he discussed the American penal system and the failure of the war on drugs. “Now that we have crack and crystal and whatnot, people don’t even think about marijuana anymore, it’s like someone watching too many videogames in comparison,” he said. “The fact that states are passing laws allowing it means that its threat has been over-exaggerated. Psychologists recommend smoking marijuana rather than drinking if you are in a stressful situation. These are ancient remedies, alcohol and smoking, and they only started passing laws against them 100 years ago.”

13. He likes pickles.

And peanut butter. But he’s never tried them together. “I’m big on pickles, but I’ve never had them with peanut butter,” he says. “I really like peanut butter though. I’m kind of surprised because I like them both so much that I haven’t combined them.”

14. He thinks stealing art is “worse than stealing gold and diamonds.”

Murray’s next film, The Monuments Men, tells the story of a group of museum curators and art historians who venture into Germany to rescue art stolen by the Nazis and return the pieces to their rightful owners. And there are direct parallels between what happened in history (and in the film) and what’s happening in some parts of the world today. “You hate to say that a film is an important film but I think it’s a movie that people will say enlightened them about something that was forgotten, and it’s a situation that exists around the world now,” Murray said. “For example when we invaded Iraq, we weren’t really taking care of business and a bunch of criminals went in and looted the museums. It’s what’s happening in Syria now. It’s far worse than stealing gold or diamonds. It’s stealing a culture, a mystery, and if those works of art are stolen, we are losing the ability to learn about culture and about ourselves.”

JIMMY FALLON NAILS JIM MORRISOM

 

 

http://youtu.be/_82GscM3m5E